MEMORANDUM

To: Randall M. Packer, Secretary

From: Abe Golam, Director of the Office of Political and Economic Insecurity

Re: Knock Knock Knockin' On Heaven's Door: Why Are We Scared To/Of Death?

——

As we know, the President's most important job is to protect himself
while appearing to defend the American people. Since September 11,
all levels of government have been pointing fingers like never before
while our airports become Keystone cop scenarios and our border
security remains a farce. We are in the process of producing and
stockpiling more medicines to treat the disillusioned masses whose
retirement plans have been plundered by the reigning oil-garchy now
in power, those stupid white men and women who are still trying to
regain their balance after having been knocked over by a ten-ton
intelligence failure like none ever experienced in postmodern times.
Even as they pretend to be taking steps toward improving information
sharing among our intelligence agencies, and suggest in their
media-manipulated spin doctoring that we are beginning to deploy more
resources and personnel to protect our critical infrastructure, our
federal investigators are still working with computer technology
manufactured in the dark ages. Our children have access to better
technology than our federal intelligence agents.

The changing nature of the threats facing America requires a new
government, a new administration, a new way of looking at the world
that protects the environment, that celebrates diversity, takes care
of the poor, and prioritizes the development of new forms of art
using advanced digital technologies that will help us find a cure to
the "death-denial" of our present leaders.

Our current administration continuously churns out the propaganda
butter while greasing up our virtual asses so that they can mind-fuck
us better than Brando does Maria Schneider in Last Tango In Paris.
We are asked to keep our eyes out for "invisible enemies" as if we
were all Supermen and Superwomen with x-ray vision able to leap
collapsing buildings in a single, helpless bound. We are told that
these "invisible enemies" can strike with a wide variety of weapons
and that America needs a single, unified homeland security structure
that will improve protection against today's threats and be flexible
enough to help meet the unknown threats of the future.

Whereas it's true that a great tragedy has struck America, and
innocent people of all walks of life have unnecessarily lost their
lives, our domestic agenda has been hijacked by far right wing
ideologues and military-religious zealots who are trying to whittle
away at the basic rights of all US citizens as guaranteed by our
Constitution. As a result of these ruthless, unpatriotic acts
against freedom of speech and the right to dissent, we have no choice
but to become politically active ourselves and to demand change in
the current administration's personnel make-up.

As part of our next major political action, we should form an
exploratory committee to see if it is feasible to declare a candidacy
for the Presidency of the United States of America. Under the banner
of the Experimental Party whose motto is "Representation Through
Virtualization" - we will recruit a candidate whose virtual identity
is guaranteed to stir up controversy in the global computer networks,
that "non-place" place where the true battle for democracy in America
will be fought and won. As part of this exploration, we will attempt
to locate The Real Moral Majority, those whose ethics and aesthetics
will, without compromise, tell the truth so help them God or whatever
other word they use to describe The Supreme Fiction.

We will not appease soccer moms or corporate dads, we will not
pretend we have endless amounts of taxpayer money to give back to
everyone so that we can essentially buy their votes while making sure
their rights as a U.S. citizen die on the vine, and we will not let
the super-rich steal continue to steal their hard earned retirement
money so that they can buy another Lear jet to fly them out to Monaco
where they can secretly buy old paintings previously stolen and
hidden by the Nazis and their moneyed co-conspirators.

We WILL ask for sacrifice. We will ask for sacrifice from SUV
trust-fund babies and get-rich-quick wannabes whose vaporware dreams
of dot.com glory have turned to dust. We will demand the immediate
impeachment of Vice-President Richard "Tricky Dick" Cheney. We are
naming names, and the first to go has got to be the ex-CEO of
Halliburton whose shady business dealings allowed him to pocket tens
of millions of dollars while corrupting an already corrupt energy
company that is leaving its ex-workers in the dust the same way the
oil-garchy fund-raisers at Enron did during the hey-day of cooking
books and stealing national elections. Remember, "Tricky Dick" is
just one artificial heartbeat away from the Presidency. Once he goes,
the rest are sure to follow.

As we know, the one thing Americans, perhaps more than any other
nation on the planet, fear - is death itself. Under the protective
guise of "Homeland Security", we find ourselves primarily a nation of
insecure workers scared to death of our future, of our ability to
consume corporate food at any cost, of our right to buy gas guzzling
vehicles that double as tanks in case we encounter the next fucked-up
mass murderer at the upcoming stop light. What's worse is that that
fucked-up mass murderer may be your high school son, your pedophilic
priest, your favorite football star, or your local Congressman.

As a nation of laws, we must always remember that our ability to
prosecute the real criminals is crucial to our survival. Those who
steal elections, rob Peter to pay Paul, deprive citizens of their
basic constitutional rights to vocally oppose the egregious war
policies of the present administration, are criminally unpatriotic,
and need to be dealt with immediately.

For those of our fellow citizens who fear death, we should ask them
to remember that death is an advisor. Death is always there, always
with you, watching your every move. Death has only one thing to say
to you and says it over and over again: live this life to its fullest
and find security in your own heart, the way you act toward others,
the things you create.