dear michael,

thank you very much for this - i agree with what you wrote - it also
makes me think about this more which is very good for me - i prefer the
second version too - though i see the virtues in the first as playing
against the pulse - i am going to solve this by assigning the irregular
version to one persona and the regular version to another persona - the
two versions appeal to two different types of people - my temperament is
more classical so i like the second version - it's funny that i came up
with the title iconoclassic - the title shows how torn i am between the
two possibilites

sincerely,
august highland

muse apprentice guild
–"expanding the canon into the 21st century"
www.muse-apprentice-guild.com

culture animal
–"following in the footsteps of tradition"
www.cultureanimal.com


—– Original Message —–
From: "Michael Szpakowski" <szpako@yahoo.com>
To: "August Highland" <hmfah4@hotmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, July 03, 2003 2:28 AM
Subject: Re: august to michael - thank you and request for advice


Hi August
You know -I really don't feel qualified to offer
*advice*!
If you ask me which is to my taste -I would say the
second.
We feel an underlying pulse but there is surface
variety. Personally although I "understand" metre
I've always had a problem with the way it seems to be
regarded as a science by many.
Even within a strict understanding of metre I believe
it to be the case that if one reads Shakespeare, for
example, there is much 'playing against' expectation.
Certainly what one *feels* when one reads a passage is
this play between the pulse and a playing against the
pulse.
I actually don't believe that Shakespeare counted
stresses any more than Haydn or Mozart "thought" in
sonata form but what they all do is to make a thing
which holds our attention by the dialectic between the
free expression of ideas and the formal constraints
within which those ideas are expressed.
For me though the idea being expressed is the primary
thing and therefore if we move away from idealized
sonata form in music or metre in poetry or the unities
in drama then so much the worse for the schema.
Writing as a "friendly critic" of your work I'd say
my view is "don't be afraid to loosen up" and "don't
be a prisoner of form or system".
best
michael


— August Highland <hmfah4@hotmail.com> wrote:
> dear michael,
>
> i am proceeding in this direction because of your
> encouragement - i am
> very indebted to you - your feedback has opened me
> up to more freedom
> and lightness
>
> did you notice how the last couple of stanzas had
> some breaks in them -
> some interruptions in the standard pattern - do you
> think it is better
> to have these periodic interruptions in the standard
> pattern or for the
> standard pattern to be consistent throughout
>
> i am more in favor of consistency througout because
> then the poetry
> maintains its ambient, incantatory quality - the
> breaks seems to upset
> the rhythm and take away from the pleasure of the
> regulated meter
>
> here would be an example:
> first the consistent pattern:
>
> 1.
>
> there with it.
> there with it.
> transponders
> the privilege of
> there with it.
> lawn. I was
> transponders
> transponders
> there with it.
> it he would have but
> Br. Including
> Br. Including
> Incidentally the
> it he would have but
> transponders
> plexus, on
>
> Dicotyledonae
> Dicotyledonae
> time. As they
> His erection bounced
> Dicotyledonae
> dotted simple.
> time. As they
> time. As they
> Dicotyledonae
> they unite and form
> as susceptible to
> as susceptible to
> and a full
> they unite and form
> time. As they
> darkest alcove of
>
> Tenuinucelli.
> Tenuinucelli.
> kissed his boyfriend
> few spreading
> Tenuinucelli.
> camouflage,
> kissed his boyfriend
> kissed his boyfriend
> Tenuinucelli.
> the , county
> the A$240 million
> the A$240 million
> and corolla. Calyx
> the , county
> kissed his boyfriend
> separate jamming
>
> missile engagement -hyoid bone.
> missile engagement -hyoid bone.
> indehiscent, or a
> pulp, and no doubt
> missile engagement -hyoid bone.
> shows some of the
> indehiscent, or a
> indehiscent, or a
> missile engagement -hyoid bone.
> More than 100
> continues to engage
> continues to engage
> pistil 1-5 celled.
> More than 100
> indehiscent, or a
> into him,
>
> Araliiflorae
> Araliiflorae
> Gynoecium 3
> scored six
> Araliiflorae
> of his gut. Then it
> Gynoecium 3
> Gynoecium 3
> Araliiflorae
> it brings
> with the pole that
> with the pole that
> 3 carpelled, or 4-30
> it brings
> Gynoecium 3
> begin to believe in
>
> nest cavities in
> nest cavities in
> geographical
> with a 17-point lead
> nest cavities in
> Philadelphia's list
> geographical
> geographical
> nest cavities in
> spent a very
> service in November
> service in November
> have enacted -breaker
> spent a very
> geographical
> that a few days
>
> burrows averaged 16.
> burrows averaged 16.
> that no such
> But Aunt
> burrows averaged 16.
> monoecious .
> that no such
> that no such
> burrows averaged 16.
> referee in this
> Tenuinucelli.
> Tenuinucelli.
> t' get you that mule
> referee in this
> that no such
> They
>
>
> 2. now the standard pattern with some stanzas having
> interruption or
> irregularities
>
> 9 cm long , 11.5 cm
> 9 cm long , 11.5 cm
> or sepaline , or
> 'entire, very deeply
> 9 cm long , 11.5 cm
> by the two men, but
> or sepaline , or
> or sepaline , or
> 9 cm long , 11.5 cm
> side of the
> closer.
> closer.
> touching the
> side of the
> or sepaline , or
> I have pasta and a
>
> wide , and
> wide , and
> Lamina entire.
> answered with -mannered
> wide , and
> armoured vehicles to
> Lamina entire.
> Lamina entire.
> wide , and
> through the cavity,
> started at the
> started at the
> Radar has `sea-
> through the cavity,
> Lamina entire.
> for it. Gardner
>
>
>
> rationing system and,
> Greece ; Indonesia ;
>
> pry for to lift that
> rationing system and,
> rationing system and,
>
>
> exstipulate.
> exstipulate.
> rookie Chris Porter
>
> rationing system and,
>
=== message truncated ===


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